I’ll never give my heart away again.

It’s taking every single thing in me not to text you how much I miss you because it is so easy for you to never tell me that you miss me. I’m not immature but I can’t always be the one fixing this and trying so hard. You are always on my mind and I fantasize about your smile and your lips on mine. I want to tell you so many sweet things but I’ll just contain myself and hope that maybe when we both grow up a little bit more, we will find our way back to one and other when we can love each other correctly.

gay-is-da-wayyy:

seeing how wet a girl gets for you is one of the hottest things

(Source: w-e-t-dreamz, via begayeveryday)

How I feel is so much more than simply being sad. I feel like I can’t properly communicate how I actually need to. I break down in tears over nothing because I hold them back so often. I wish I was numb again but I promised I’d never buy H again. I feel worthless, hopeless, and confused about almost everything happening in my life. I work so much and act like a content little server with my fake smiles and bullshit. I’m haunted by my past and anxieties. I feel as though I have a dark cloud above me and it follows me everywhere since I was just a child. I talked to therapists and psychiatrists and medicine only helps till it hurts you. When does this feeling ever stop? Will I ever be free?

skellydun:

hey good luck today with whatever u got going on. u got this. and i hope something really nice happens to u today. u deserve it. 

There are really no painless and no sure ways to die so I’ll just keep painfully living. Not really living but getting by. I’m alive and that makes me so sad but I know some people are happy I exist and I don’t know why that’s not enough for me but it has been the last 21 years so I guess it will suffice.

Heartbreak is an odd experience. At 7am you wish you could snooze your alarm and hide from the sunlight. At 10 you feel unstoppable and like maybe today is the day the heartbreak will ease. At 1pm you’re crying at your desk silently, hoping no one will notice and at 2 you’re running to the bathroom because you feel nauseous. At 3 you feel like you can manage. At 5 you’re exhausted from your heart leading you on this emotional roller coaster and your brain unsuccessfully trying to take back control. Come 8 o’clock and you’re squeezing your pillow, howling out to the moon wishing you could feel anything, anything but this.
- m.s  (via shareaquote)

(Source: shareaquote.online, via shareaquote)

velvet
1000drawings: “by Giulia Rosa ”